The four laws of resonance are universal laws, the correct application of which can be a valuable tool for personality development. Especially in interpersonal relationships the mirror laws can help to solve conflicts and improve partnerships. Your outer world is your mirror, which reflects only what is in your inner world.
The correct application of the four mirror laws can provide helpful hints and can be instruments where one could work on oneself. This can lead to the healing of suffered injuries.
"But I saw it... My spirit without rest was already a reflection of your spirit. My whole soul was housed in your soul, and I saw in it as in a clear mirror." (Pedro Antonio de Alarcón 1833-1891)
The laws of resonance
1st Law of Resonance: Everything I reject in others I have in myself.
In our everyday life we often find ourselves in situations where something about other people disturbs us, annoys us, upsets us or makes us angry. Something triggers us in interpersonal relationships, and the closer the reference person is to us, the more intensely it triggers us.
The first mirror law says that everything I criticize and fight or want to change in the other person, criticize, fight or suppress is actually part of my self. But I do not dare to live out my needs, talents, wishes, desires or behaviors.
Behind this are beliefs like:
"That's not proper."
"That's selfish."
"That's not my place."
Actually, I would like to be different, behave differently, or live a different life. However, my beliefs contradict this and this prevents me from following my true destiny. The individual real life is a reflection of the resulting thoughts and feelings and the resulting behavior. Life, life circumstances, relationships are not products of chance, but the result of individual beliefs and the result of the actions that follow from them. If I do not like this and it is mirrored to me by others, this triggers rejection in me.
2nd Law of Resonance: Everything that others reject in me and I hurt is not yet transformed.
Everything that other people criticize, fight, reproach me for or if this behavior hurts me is not yet transformed. My ego was offended by other people, it is still too strong.
If to a person is said e.g. "You are stupid!", but the person has internalized the belief set to be intelligent, this statement will not hurt the person.
However, if a person is told, "You are short and fat!" and the person thinks he or she is too short and overweight and has not yet accepted or transformed this, this statement will hurt the person.
When we become aware of what we project onto others, we can discover who and how we really are.
3rd Law of Resonance: Everything that others criticize about me that does not hurt me is present in or with the other person and already transformed by me.
Everything that another person rejects, criticizes or fights about me while this rejection does not hurt me, it is his own image, his own character, his own shortcomings that he projects onto me.
That which the other person rejects in me has already been accepted and acknowledged and integrated by me and therefore cannot trigger me.
4th Law of Resonance: everything I appreciate in others I also like in myself.
Besides negative projections, positive projections are also present in interpersonal interaction.
I recognize myself in my fellow human beings. Actions, behaviors, characteristics of my fellow human beings that I appreciate I also like in myself.
If you respect yourself, then others will respect you.
If you are honest with yourself, others will be honest with you.
The fourth law of mirrors can be seen well in the phase of infatuation. Often we have fallen in love more with the idea of being in love. And not necessarily in the person. In this phase of infatuation, we often desire something that we project into the other person and what the other person might represent.
The subconscious mind, assists in this psychological projection. The subconscious mind cannot distinguish between reality and imagination. So that which I project into the other person in terms of characteristics is considered reality in the subconscious mind.
5 tips for dealing with the laws of Resonance:
Become aware of a specific situation in which you were upset about another person's behavior and look closely at what part of you is upset.
Be aware of your own behavior. Often you hurt another person with your behavior in the same way that you feel hurt. Use your injuries as a mirror for your own behavior.
If another person's behavior provokes you, turn that behavior into an opposite judgment. For example, if a person behaves arrogantly from your point of view, see this as self-confident behavior and ask yourself where you live in lack. Do you lack self-worth or self-confidence?
Be aware of the beliefs behind your thinking, feeling and behavior. Are these limiting you? Then transform them!
Make clear that personal aspects that you like in others are also in you. These can be strengths, talents, characteristics.
(Translated with the help of www.deepl.com)
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