Imagine: "Behind EVERYTHING that bothers you about other people or things are issues inside you that you still need to work on."
What use is that phrase?
First of all, it's a belief. Because you can't know that. It's the author who suggests it. But you can believe the sentence in advance, and if it helps you, you can add it to your repertoire of beliefs. But about believes another time.
First of all, this sentence is very helpful when it comes to what issues are difficult in your life. Not every difficult situation leads to a new topic.
A short excursion
For example, I myself get very angry again and again when it is about who pays what in the relationship and I am on the giving side. This may have to do with appreciation, with abuse or simply with security (through money). My parents, for example, grew up during the war. Both had to raise their siblings because money was so scarce that both parents had to work all the time.
Concept
The idea now is to stop thinking, "Hell, my partner is misusing me as an ATM," and ask yourself what relationship you actually have with money? Why do I think money is scarce? "Money," then, is identified as a theme for me. Around the topic, themes like "security," "abuse," and "appreciation" also haunt me. This imprecision is allowed to be.
Tips on how to proceed
Keep a list for yourself of situations that have evoked negative feelings for you. This might fit in a journal or simply on a note.
When the list has a few entries, take some time, perhaps a person you trust, and go through the list. Perhaps some situations will fit into a theme.
If a theme is very strong or even problematic e.g. with very negative thoughts of violence against you or others, seek professional help from a psychotherapist or a coach.
Conclusion
So when other people "upset" us it is for our own good. In this way, we find issues that we ourselves have difficulties with. There can be many different reasons behind it. Maybe a trauma (injury) or other experiences. But about that another time.
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